|Kairos..the Supreme Moment|
This Saturday I did a nice long ritual working; I've been crazy-busy the last couple weeks with family matters, and so hadn't done a proper check-in with the Old Man. I'd noticed some things in myself that seemed to be the result of an over-heavy Saturnian hand; nothing huge, but noticeable change in temperament and movement that I needed to sort out.
This is something to be aware of; continued practical and devotional work with a single entity will show in your life, in your body and in your mind. We are what we continually do, and if your time is spent working with Saturnus, you'll find more and more a resemblance between yourself and Him. It's not a literal and gross change--you probably won't take to Serpent-riding or scythe carrying...although I will declare you immediately awesome if you do--but a subtle and perceptible change that is recognizable in the way the World relates to you, and in the way you relate to it. By "you" I mean the unified you. There is a Saturnian understanding of the self that differs from the norm, in that the body, mind and spirit are no longer perceived as entirely separate things. They aren't of course, but having practical gnosis and intellectual knowledge are two different things.
You can feel particular re-occurring tensions in the body, which reveal themselves as concerns you've dwelt on, memories you've obsessed over and knots of stagnant LVX when held with the awareness. It is all of those things at once; the self is manifest. There is no true separation, all is one. Within the Body all is coagulated and joined, and so it has a primacy that cannot be ignored.
You learn that working on the Body is working upon the Mind/Spirit and Soul. You can change how you feel by changing your posture. You can eliminate an old hate with touch, and re-kindle an old love with the same. You can purify and sactify; everything that is done is done through the body. You can move your way into Gnosis of this or that; you can dance into wisdom. You can eat your way into wisdom, for heaven's sake. There are alchemical methods designed purely around the digestive fires, and they work. The body is this important to spiritual matters. Relaxing your body is liberating your self from ailments and stresses. A half-hour massage everyday is far more useful for the spiritual well-being of a person than, say, a half-hour of meditating. Yeah, I just said that. Massage is more important than meditation. Think I'm wrong? Meditate for a half hour, and note how you are immediately after. Do the same after a proper massage; you'll see that after the massage you feel renewed in mind, body, and spirit, you feel whole. Imagine the benefits if you did such a thing once a day, instead of twice a year after your husband/wife gets you a gift certificate.
You become aware that the body is constantly speaking through sensation, and that you've been ignoring this subtle singing for ages. When the sages speak of living in the eternal moment, the body-awareness is a key that is often left unspoken. You aren't a soul inhabiting a body, a spirit bound in matter. No. You are not. You are your body, which is also your spirit and your soul. These things are not separate. They differ only in coagulation. What of the mind? The mind is an emanation of the body, rising from the Spirit/Water-permeated Earth like a fog. The existence of the mind is a function of the body. This doesn't mean that we only have minds when we are physical; it means that this is how Mind works at our level of coagulation. Your mind's functioning in our current realm--that of Time/Space-- is absolutely dependent upon the Body (observe a person with extensive brain-damage, and see that this is just the plain truth), which is absolutely dependent upon the Mind as well. There is no separation. You are small Soul emanated from the great Soul, animated by Spirit and Coagulated in Body, governed with Mind...which is governed by Body, which is animated by Spirit, which is emanated from Soul. Inside out, outside in, a great Ouroboros of being. All is one thing, existing in different states simultaneously.
When traveling in the Spirit (after having whitened the Prima Materia) we aren't "leaving the body". In Time/Space, we Are the body! What we are doing is exploring existence in the more subtle realm of Spirit, which isn't coagulated in Time/Space. You never leave your body "here", you become aware of the you that exists in the Spiritual realm and roam about. The physical you is a focal point, a coagulated point of being; it is a part of the Greater you, but certainly not the limit of your existence.
Anyway, it changes you. This has to be examined to be deeply understood.
Saturday's rite was an amazing experience; I haven't detailed one of these in a bit, so here we go.
Went upstairs about halfway into the Saturnian hour (my wife works with St.Cyprian, and Saturdays are his day as well. He is partial to the number 9, and that also happens to be about when the Saturnian hour was getting going out here in California on Saturday. Let her go first with her Work, knew I'd be at it for longer.) I performed my cleansing first, followed by banishing of unwelcome spirits, and then the Qabalistic Cross to center myself. Lit the candle at my Saturn altar, and lit his incense. Meditated for a moment upon his Image (which I keep next to a Kamea of Saturn, which is underneath the black candle) to make a connection. Felt the connection, returned to small altar in center of the room. I keep my Lotus wand and bronze censer here, next to a bowl of holy water. Burned my Come Here, Angel powder, and then created the Tower of Art. Performed the Holy Yeheshua Rite, Lemnian Fire Rite, and then the Antimaquis Rite for Saturn. Candle burns out immediately after finishing Antimaquis rite. Momentary concern that perhaps I'd been too long between rites, and was about to get chewed out. Turns out Saturn's hour ended at that very same moment as well. What are the chances of these things occuring at once? Ahh, magic. Lit a new candle and burnt another incense-offering for Saturn, and performed the Sign of the Enterer on image. Felt myself being pulled at, and closed my eyes, falling into vision.
Find myself in a rocky and mountainous clearing under a bright purple night-sky. Stars are bright and throbbing, and there are tall and ancient-looking trees all about me. Before me is Saturn. He isn't huge or ominous looking; he wears a simple deep-purple robe. His face isn't entirely clear to my vision, as if it were back-lit. His beard is greyish-white, and his hands look strong. I sense that this figure in front of me in the vision isn't just Saturn, but a convenience. The entirety of the landscape is Saturn, the entire Vision is Saturn. I ask him if I'm doing things correctly, and I feel him turn his awareness on me. I was immediately filled with Grace. It rushed through me like a river, and I was near to weeping with the beauty of it. It was simply incredible. I haven't felt such a thing before. Not in this measure. He is such a stern figure; I find myself desiring his approval and dreading his disappointment. I'm not unaware of how the whole sky-father deal works, hahaha. His being a God of Death adds a certain flavor to the dreading part, I have to tell you. He took a minute to teach me a lesson about Existence, as he's done for each of our rites together. He also made it clear that I don't need to call him each week for conversation like clockwork; he is timeless. I need to live in the Saturnian body--to do so with the Saturnian awareness--and then, every moment is worship. This is difficult to translate into regular words....It's always a sea of impressions directly after a Vision, and it looses something when it coagulates fully into memory, I think.
I've worked with any number of Gods, but never in this way. The devotional way; like any relationship, you reap what you've sewn.