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The HGA pt.2

Ave, would seem that the HGA has a partner of sorts. A darker fellow, who is intimately connected to Desire, Hunger, Sensuality, and a certain defensive fierceness. A fellow who likes to lurk about at the edges of your mind during prayers. A fellow who is not particularly pleased when one reigns in certain habits and unthinking ways of being. A fellow who can be sly for sometime, and subtle, but who has little in the way of patience and is brash enough to undo himself by making himself known.

I've encountered this gent before. Last time, I attempted to banish him, thinking he was a larvae of some sort lurking about during my rituals. I've stabbed and burnt this fellow a number of times (in vision), and he just keeps coming back. He obeys when told to leave, but he doesn't actually go far. He can't be traveling far-he never waits long before he comes back! The God-Names don't fill him with fear-he isn't afraid, he is obedient. He isn't evil, but he is absolutely amoral. Pleasure is his currency, and pain will do when pleasure can't be had.

He is most dangerous when he is Not around!

Looking back, during the periods when this fellow was lurking about, I was doing my best at self control. When I am listening to my intuition, and living harmoniously he is always there, stalking about at the edges. When I am making excuses to indulge in clearly non-productive behaviours-being lazy and self-indulgent-he is no where to be found.

Today, as I began my prayers for deeper K and C of my HGA, it appeared again. I was a bit irritated at first, but had a feeling I should play things out. I had a vision of this entity standing at my right side, slightly behind me, having a dark aspect and a dull glow. I asked it what it's name was, and it gave me a name that was equivalent to "Appetite". (I am told not to share it's name-as I've been told not to share the name of my HGA). Interesting. I told it that, as long as it was going to be here distracting me, it may as well get on it's knees and join me in my prayer and obeisance. And it did! It prayed with me! I sensed a presence at my left (a very familiar one), and it told me to cultivate an awareness of the dark entity, and to treat it like a younger brother. Also very interesting. We all three bent down, and prayed before God-and I became aware of what was going on.

This thing was mine! It was both a separate being and an intrinsic part of me-we humans are conglomerate's spiritually as well as physically. The reason it was gone when  I did poorly was because it was acting mostly outside of my awareness-I was acting from my lower nature, which it embodied. No self control, and acting out base desires unthinkingly led me to relinquishing a certain power to it. It wasn't the desires that were the issue-it was the lack of consciousness, of awareness. It is like the Golem of legend, extremely powerful if directed, but destructive and life-threatening if left to run rampant. It is very powerful, and had direct access and control of the lower energies. We had a very revealing conversation-it couldn't be banished because of what it is. I'm not entirely sure if this is the Lower/Self-Guardian Daimon that I have heard about, but it seems to fit the bill. When I am practicing earnest self control, and directing my energies upward-he appears, and is obedient. When I am not, he is nowhere to be found.....because he's running amok, eating and fornicating in gluttonous fashion, never satisfied for long. Well, he's here now to stay-and had been around for a little while. I'm taking that as a good sign. At the moment, I am passively directing it's energies through self-control. I'm going to see what happens when I give it active direction...I'll let you know the results.




  1. To quote the honorable Saunt Dave Chappelle, "You a cold muthaphucka RO-cold as ice."

    That certainly beats the whole collar thing I have going.=)

    I have read the Corpus Hermeticum, and wouldn't dare call myself a Magician if I had not,haha. I'll review Pymander-it's been a few years, thanks for the suggestion.

    Thanks for directing me toward Agrippa and his method-I'm currently experiencing the massive headache that comes with working that bit out, but happily so!


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