Conducted the Invocations, with some substitution of personal Enochian balancing and preparatory rituals for the QC and LBRP. Went shockingly, smashingly well. I suspect mostly because I had to pay attention to what I was doing- and I wonder if I've been magically lazy. I am more than capable of making my own ritual for an established purpose, and have mostly just used what was handed to me regardless of that. I am by no means saying I'd toss out the classics that work wonderfully and are part of our tradition; that would be foolish. I mean that now I am going to look at them with a critical eye, and determine exactly what it is they are doing. Make them personal.
The Angel appeared immediately, and his appearance was notable because:
1. He looked like a huge man-bird.
2.He looked combatitive and pissed off.
He was a deep purple-so much so that he was almost black. He was mostly shaped like a man. His eyes were a fierce golden color, and he glared at me with his arms crossed about his chest in combatitive fashion.
I asked him his name, and it appeared in the orb in Letters, one at a time. They were correct.I greeted him, and asked him what his nature was. He told me that he is the spark that initiates conflict, the burning of passions that created conflict. I asked him how he manifested in macrocosmic forces, and he told me I lacked the physics to understand. I asked him to try, and he said he was the tension between two opposing forces. He gave me an image of a space shuttle re-entering the atmosphere, with the white-hot burning of friction between the hull and atmosphere being at the center.a1 Ok, makes sense.
I asked for initiation into understanding of his force, and he said yes, but this may hurt. We connected at the heart, and I had a quick vision of my wife and I at arms against each other, and had an understanding that balancing this force may result in more conflict in my passional life. Well, it has to be done. I'll have to watch myself over the next week, and avoid being unnecessarily combatitive. The last time I worked with similar forces-making a Mars Talisman for victory in a certain combat-I was pugnacious and ill-tempered for most of the next day.
I asked for it's symbol, and it kept it simple. A Mars sign, burning. That should be fairly easy to recall-I wonder if I'll get similar answers from the other Seniors.
After closing the ritual, I am aware of that undercurrent-not overtaken by it, but aware. Perhaps this is the understanding. I felt it rising as mundane family stuff raised my ire; but I didn't mis-apply it. I redirected it in another direction....namely away from my lovely wife, haha. It doesn't go away, but it is there, I can sense it. Which is a nice change; I can control how I respond to it, and how it manifests in myself and my choices. It's still early, but I think it will take. It's interesting-these Enochian invocations seem to make me aware of a given force as it acts within me in a very visceral way; its not purely abstractions. We'll have to see if this is the norm.